Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Generously grease 4 cups of a muffin tin with coconut oil or avocado oil. Set aside.
First, make the date paste. Add the dates and water to a small pot over medium heat. Cook for about 5 minutes stirring frequently and smashing the dates so they can break down. Turn heat off and add baking soda. Stir to combine. It will start to fizz and break down the dates, forming a thick paste.
Once dates are mostly broken down and smooth, add the butter, coconut sugar, flax egg, and vanilla. Stir until well combined and butter is melted.
In a medium mixing bowl, add the oat flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Whisk until well combined.
Add the date mixture to the dry ingredients. Use a spatula and mix until combined. Divide the batter into the 4 greased muffin cups. Bake for 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let it cool in the pan for 10 minutes.
While cooling, make the sticky toffee sauce. Add the maple syrup, tahini, and coconut oil to a small pot over medium low heat. Whisk until melted and smooth. (You can make it in the microwave by adding the ingredients to a small bowl and microwaving it in 30 second increments, stirring after each increment until smooth.)
Carefully invert the cakes onto a cooling rack. Place each sticky toffee pudding on a plate and generously drizzle the toffee caramel sauce all over the top (you can also poke holes into the puddings so the sauce can get into the cakes). Place a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top, drizzle more toffee sauce on top of the ice cream, and sprinkle flaky sea salt if desired. Enjoy warm!